Back in America

I've been back for about two months, and it's pretty different.  Things have settled back into a normal routine.  I still do my devotional every morning, but now when I go to campus I go because I have a class not to share my faith.  I still find ways to share my faith, but its no longer my sole reason for going to a campus and hanging out.  

I may not be in Berlin any more, but I still want to change the world for Christ some how.  I think it mostly comes down to me living out the life God calls us to live.  I really love dcTalk and before the start of "What if I Stumble?" there is a quote about why non-believers don't believe because of Christian hypocrites.  I know they're out there, I've meet them and at times been one, but my resolve is to live a life for God; a life that cares only about doing what He asks, even if it's hard.  Maybe that will change the way people view Christians and Christianity.  But I won't place my hope in my own efforts, rather I will place it in God.  

For my Social Justice class, I read an article about hope and hopelessness.  The author seems to think that hope is placed in what we can accomplish, but that injects fear which can and does destroy hope.  But hopelessness unites people in love and kindness.  I agree that when things look the darkest is when we tend to unite ourselves in love, but that fear cannot destroy hope if it is placed in God.  If we place our hope in what we do?  We're bound to fall short and burn out before any change happens.  But if our hope is in God, everything will work out even if we don't know the outcome.  Therefore, if our hope is in God all we must do is what we can and leave the rest up to Him.  

So hope; not in what any one of us can do, but what God does.

Night of Reflection

Today was pretty good.  This morning, we went to a Jewish cemetery for our morning devotional.  This morning we talked about faith in God and walking by faith.  We read from Hebrews 11, looking at the sections on Moses and Abraham.  After we were done, we had some time to pray and just spend with God.  As I sat in prayer, I came to the realization that walking by faith and finding my identity in Christ are the same.  To have one, is to have the other; and to not have one, is to have neither.  If I walk by faith, I do so knowing that my identity is in Christ, my savior; to know that my identity is in Christ, is to walk by faith knowing God will provide and be there with me.  To me, this was a pretty huge realization and something that I hope will help me through the rest of my life to know that I am a son of the most high God.

Sharing today was ok.  Patrick and I talked with one guy at lunch, but it didn't move to a spiritual direction, it stayed very superficial and surface.  But that's ok.  I think after so many rejections yesterday and feeling like I needed to impress Uli, the head guy in Germany's Crusade, that just taking this step to talk and be friendly was good.  After lunch, we asked two guys about the survey and both said no.  The third guy we asked, was willing to talk.  We had a lot of small talk but we also were able to ask him about his spirituality.  He said he didn't know much about Christianity, I asked if he wanted to learn more about it but he said no.  Hopefully he will someday reflect on God and desire to know more about Him.  I think without this hope, that one day the students we meet will consider Christ, I would burn out and maybe give up.  But God is hope and my hope is in Him and His power.  

Tonight was the night of reflection, where we just take a night to spend with God or as Jarrin would put it, date night with God.  I went to the garden at the Tiergarten and just spent some time in prayer; talking to God about how I don't always find my identity in Him and that I hope to find it in Him solely.  I wanted something to read and the first thing that popped into my head was Song of Solomon.  When I turned to that book, the first passage that came to me was 2:16a "My beloved is mine, and I am his".  It just reminded me that I am God's, no one can take me away; that my identity is in Him.  God's spirit just works in wonderful ways.  He knows what to say to break down your walls and remind of your brokenness, and in the same moment comfort you and lift you up in His strength.