Night of Reflection

Today was pretty good.  This morning, we went to a Jewish cemetery for our morning devotional.  This morning we talked about faith in God and walking by faith.  We read from Hebrews 11, looking at the sections on Moses and Abraham.  After we were done, we had some time to pray and just spend with God.  As I sat in prayer, I came to the realization that walking by faith and finding my identity in Christ are the same.  To have one, is to have the other; and to not have one, is to have neither.  If I walk by faith, I do so knowing that my identity is in Christ, my savior; to know that my identity is in Christ, is to walk by faith knowing God will provide and be there with me.  To me, this was a pretty huge realization and something that I hope will help me through the rest of my life to know that I am a son of the most high God.

Sharing today was ok.  Patrick and I talked with one guy at lunch, but it didn't move to a spiritual direction, it stayed very superficial and surface.  But that's ok.  I think after so many rejections yesterday and feeling like I needed to impress Uli, the head guy in Germany's Crusade, that just taking this step to talk and be friendly was good.  After lunch, we asked two guys about the survey and both said no.  The third guy we asked, was willing to talk.  We had a lot of small talk but we also were able to ask him about his spirituality.  He said he didn't know much about Christianity, I asked if he wanted to learn more about it but he said no.  Hopefully he will someday reflect on God and desire to know more about Him.  I think without this hope, that one day the students we meet will consider Christ, I would burn out and maybe give up.  But God is hope and my hope is in Him and His power.  

Tonight was the night of reflection, where we just take a night to spend with God or as Jarrin would put it, date night with God.  I went to the garden at the Tiergarten and just spent some time in prayer; talking to God about how I don't always find my identity in Him and that I hope to find it in Him solely.  I wanted something to read and the first thing that popped into my head was Song of Solomon.  When I turned to that book, the first passage that came to me was 2:16a "My beloved is mine, and I am his".  It just reminded me that I am God's, no one can take me away; that my identity is in Him.  God's spirit just works in wonderful ways.  He knows what to say to break down your walls and remind of your brokenness, and in the same moment comfort you and lift you up in His strength.

3 Weeks In

Last night during the Argentina-Mexico game, some of us played a game called Fishbowl or Can of Worms (people call it both).  It was a lot of fun.  It started off just random questions but then Austin asked if there were anything scary or intimidating about the opposite sex which lead the girls to grill him and I about how guys view this or that.  It was a lot of fun.  For a while they wanted to know about how/why guys communicate and I was able to explain most of that stuff from what I learned in school, which was kind of cool.  I felt like those of us playing really bonded and connected during that.

This morning,  we talked about what we find our identity in other than God.  It really helped me to see that I find my identity in relationships and my grades.  I never would have thought until now that I find part of my identity in relationships and grades.  We just did some serious self analyzing.  I just realized how much I identified myself with my relationship with Amy and now that its over, I had a hard time identifying myself.  I realize now that I found too much of my identity in our relationship.  I think its ok to have some identity in a long lasting relationship but I think I put too much into that.  When I was introducing myself to people at school I didn't know, I'd say "I'm Chris, Amy's boyfriend".  Hopefully now that I know this, I will let God work in me about how and where I find my identity.

Today at Humboldt, it wasn't quite as good as other days.  Aaron and I went sharing and only had two conversations and shared the gospel once.  I know its not a numbers game, and I'm ok with what we did today for God.  The first guy didn't want to talk about religion but still wanted to talk with us.  He was really nice.  He grew up in a unique household, his father was a communist and his mother was Lutheran.  I really wanted to know how that affected this view on religion and God, but he didn't want to talk about it, which is cool.  The second guy agreed with the bible intellectually but couldn't believe in God.  I think for both of these guys, God had in mind just for us to talk and maybe get them to think about Him in a new way or for the first time in years.  After the second conversation, Aaron and I just talked and got to know each other on a much better level.  Him and I just really haven't connected much on a personal level and it was great to do that today.

This evening, we did a personality test.  It revealed that I am an extrovert, that I I use my intuitive sense over my other senses, that I got my feelings over thinking things through.  It was really interesting.  I think I would agree with those assessments of myself.  I know for a fact that I usually go my gut feeling over thinking things out, but I didn't think I relied on my intuitive sense instead of of sensory organs to describe something.

The Weekend

Yesterday was a bit of a free day, where we could do whatever we wanted until 12:30 before we were going to Lake Schloctonse.  Kenny and I decided to go to Balzac coffee again for our quiet times.  It was good.  I really like enjoy the tea there and that it usually is quiet there.  We were there until about 11 before heading back to the hostel.  On our way to Schloctonse, we stopped off at Potsdam which is where the palaces are.  They are so beautiful.  I really like the beauty of the palaces.  Someone said they thought they were more beautiful than the Palace at Versailles.  One of the couple who are leading the trip have a 5 year old little girl who wanted me to carry her all over the palace.  I carried her most of the time until it was too hot.  After the palaces, we went back into Potsdam and looked around at the little shops.  I bought the one thing I really wanted to buy while I'm here, a German copy of the book Siddhartha.  When we reached the lake, I really didn't wanted to swim since I was afraid I wouldn't get back in time to watch the USA-Ghana game, so Alyssa and I left before everyone else since she wasn't feeling well.

This morning, I went to Berlin International Church.  It was nice, all in English and a pretty good sermon.  This morning's sermon was about forgiveness and the story of Joseph.  The pastor pointed out that Joseph wanted great blessings poured out on his brothers, even after they sold him into slavery.  The only thing I didn't care that much for was the worship music.  It was good, but I didn't know it so it was harder to prepare my heart for worship that way.

After church, we went to a biergarten to watch the Germany-England game.  I didn't stay long, I didn't sleep well and I had a hard time seeing the screen from where we were sitting.  At least Germany won.  Too bad the USA didn't.

Another day on Humboldt

I really am enjoying how structured my mornings are here.  Even though I slept in a little bit since we got back so late from the Biergarten after the Germany game, I still was able to spend a little over an hour by myself in prayer and reading.  It has really been great.

Yesterday was kind of similar to Wednesday in terms of sharing.  Patrick and I went sharing together and we had 5 conversations and we only shared the gospel once.  The one guy we shared with just rejected us and the gospel.  But it just wasn't his time.  Since this is kind of a new project, not many people have been able to share that much compared to how many students there are here.  But I know God will do wonderful and incredible things here, whether I see the results or not.

Today, Micaiah, one of the leaders, went with me to Humboldt and we only had one conversation but didn't share.  The guy didn't seem that interested in talking about God.  But afterwards, we just talked and we both shared how we came to know Christ and what all had happened in our lives up until this point.  It was kind of hard talking about what happened between Amy and I in detail, but it was nice to share that with someone.  I haven't really talk many people about what happened other than we broke up.  After that, we went to a grill out that the team here puts on every Friday.  It was fun.  I didn't eat much since we were planning on going out for dinner after that.  I shared my story with the whole group at the park, they want each one of us to share how we came to Christ and what has happened in our life up until now.

After the park, Kenny, Austin, Aaron, Alyssa, Jenna, and I went to this Egyptian restaurant not that far from the park we were at.  It was so good.  I had a falafel with lamb.  I really enjoyed it a lot.  It was really good bonding time between us.  All of us except Jenna are seniors or 5th year students, so its kind of nice as "upperclassmen" to hang out together and just get to know each other a little better.

Nord Mensa

Today we went to the North Mensa.  It's farther away from main campus, but a nicer cafeteria and better food.  Aaron, Patrick, and I went out sharing together again and we were only able to share the gospel once.  But thats ok, numbers aren't everything.  The time we shared it, the guy intellectually agreed with everything we said but when we said if he wanted salvation he would need to accept Christ, he said he didn't believe  in God and all everything became kind of moot.  Patrick did an awesome job sharing with this guy.  Ever argument he had against Christianity or God, God provided Patrick with an answer.  God provided all of us with answers, but really with Patrick.  It was really incredible.  At first I was slightly disappointed with our conversation with him, but looking back I don't feel so bad about it.  I think that God maybe just wanted us to break the soil of his heart a little bit and somewhere down the line he might be willing and ready to accept Christ.

After our time at the North Mensa, we went back to south campus and met up with the girls and talked about The Reason for God.  It's a really good book so far.  It has really helped me to know there are some strong arguments for when people act like Christopher Hitchens and think they know all of the answers.  Ultimately it comes down to if people are willing to let God work in them, or else these points become moot (much like with the guy we spoke with today).  We all really seem to like it.

This evening we went to the biergarten by the Berlin Zoo to watch the Germany-Ghana game.  It was pretty great.  On the way home, people were rioting and partying.  Some people were shaking an entire subway car before breaking out a window and lighting off fireworks in the station.  It was pretty cool, yet really scary to see the Germans go from being so calm and laid back to this intensity.  I don't think people in America are even this intense during OSU-UM week.

Humboldt

This morning, I had a much better quiet time.  Alyssa, Kenny, Jenna, Christina, and myself went to the Tiergarten around 7:30 this morning to do our quiet times.  It was so much better than trying to do it at the hostel.  I think I might make this a regular thing, getting away and going somewhere else and spending time with God.  I read my daily devotional, Colossians, then a little bit of The Reason for God.  It was really good for me.  We're going to start doing Colossians as a group bible study this summer, and they asked that we read it and write down a summary of each chapter.  It was good.  I read the book a week ago, but each time I read it, I get more and more out of it.

Today we were given our campuses for the rest of the trip.  Aaron, Patrick Martin, Alyssa, Jenna, Stephanie and I were placed on Humboldt.  All of us except Jenna were really happy about this.  I really like the campus and the feel since it is the more philosophy, literature university.  Aaron, Patrick and myself went out sharing.  The first two people we tried to talk with was ok.  We just talked about food and I guess trivial stuff.  But the second and fourth conversations were really great.  The first guy, Fabian, was open to taking our survey about spirituality and we eventually got to share the gospel with him.  It was really great.  It wasn't just one of us talking the whole time but each one of us said something useful throughout the whole conversation.  By the end, he seemed really interested in wanting to know more about God and continuing the conversation.

The last guy, Sebastian, was kind of the same way.  He started off saying he was atheist, slightly adamant about that.  But as we started to share what God has done for us and share the gospel, he started to see that maybe God wasn't all bad, that maybe there is some hope in Christ.  By the time we left, we said he really wanted to know how to believe.

I think the best thing of the day was something that none of us initiated.  Stephanie and Alyssa were sharing with this girl when a guy interrupted them and said "hey, I really want to learn more about this Christ guy but I have to go to class.  Can I get your email so I can talk with someone about this?"  As Alyssa got his info, he told her he was Iranian and Islamic but that he wasn't happy with his faith and wanted to learn more about Christianity.  God really does work in great and wondrous ways.

God really blessed this day.

TU

Yesterday we went to church.  It was nice.  We broke up into small groups that we'll keep for when we go to the churches.  The group I was in, we went to Lukas Geiminde.  It was really nice.  We started off singing "Come, Now is the Time to Worship" in German.  It was really cool to sing songs that I knew in German.  The sermon was about being fruitful in the spirit of God.  They had a translator who we could listen to with headsets.  After church, we went to the American Cafe for lunch.  It was ok.  People must think that as Americans we're either New Yorkers or Californians.  After that we had a free day, so some of us went to the Tiergarten and played ultimate frisbee.  It was really a lot of fun and great bonding time.  We played for about an hour before we came back and went to dinner by our class.  The majority of the students on the trip are seniors so we broke up into 2 senior groups for dinner.  It was nice to be in a smaller group with people closer to my age.

This morning, I felt drained and tired.  I didn't sleep that well and didn't really get a chance to have a great quiet time this morning with people being noisy and me talking with Eric and Kenny, so I was running a little on empty.  On our way to TU, I spent some time in prayer and started to feel refreshed and better.  It's times like these that I remember how much God's spirit is the living water.  It also reminds of me how important it is to start off my day with Him, much like the intro to the dc Talk song "Day by Day".

Today after our quiet times and devotional, we went to our final campus which for me was Technice Universitaet.  TU is the big science university in Berlin, it has a lot of engineering students and math students.  Austin and I talked with a Muslim guy about faith for about 10 minutes.  He wasn't very confident in his english so he kept most of his answers short and simple.  He seemed content with staying Muslim and not learning more about Christ.  That was the closest we've come to sharing the gospel so far, but it's only been a week and I know God will do something with whatever it is that we do for Him.  I'm doing my best not to get discouraged.  I need to remember that my hope is in Him and His power not in how effective and beautiful my words are, because they're gifts He gave me and I can only show them His love for me; God's the one who ultimately does all the work, He just uses those of us willing to serve.

I started reading Tim Keller's The Reason For God.  It's really good.  It kind of reminds me of Case for a Creator except with more philosophical/theological arguments.  It's one of the books that Crusade has given us to read this summer.  I'm sure I won't finish it while I'm here since I'm also reading Fireseeds and The Road, but hopefully I continue reading when I come home.

The ref who called the USA-Slovenia game is no longer reffing any World Cup games.  That's probably smart.  He did a pretty poor job.

Free days

Yesterday we decided to not go to the third campus.  As a team we decided it was important for us to watch the Germany - Serbia game.  It was an ok game.  We went to a Biergarten and had a lot of fun.  We got there late so we didn't get good seats.  After the game a lot of people left and went exploring, while six of us stayed and watched the USA - Slovenia game.  It was great bonding time.  Michael Bradley was definitely the hero of the night.  I will say that I think the USA got robbed on having that goal called back.  But that's the last I'll say of that.

Today was another free day.  This morning, Kenny, Alyssa, Jenna, Christina and myself went to a Starbuck's like place for our quiet time and coffee.  It was really fun.  The place we went was kind of out of the way, but it was really enjoyable.  I did my devotionals and then read a little bit from "Fireseeds".  Its all about revival and I think it's an appropriate book for what we're doing.  I wasn't feeling drained when I read it this morning, but after reading a chapter from it I felt more energized about sharing my faith with German students..  After that, we went on a four hour walking tour of Berlin.  It was really awesome to see some of the sites and just hang out with the team.  We saw the Brandenburg Gate, the Bundestag, a couple of really old cathedrals.  One of the cathedrals was for the French Huguenots, one for the German Lutherans, and one for the German Catholic church.  It was really just so beautiful.  Prussian architecture is just wow.  For dinner, we ate a biergarten.  I had a pork knuckle and some non-alcoholic green beer.  The pork knuckle was really incredible.  I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was really great.  Its definitely a food Americans would like.

Tomorrow, we're going to three separate churches in the morning.

Freie

Today worship went better.  Olivia and I played together and I think it was so much better having her sing and play rhythm while I played whole notes and lead lines.  I still kind of rush things since I prefer 6/8 over 4/4.  We played The Stand and Inside Out.

We went to Freie Universitaet today.  Its much more modern looking with buildings made out of steel and glass instead of brick.  At first I didn't really like how it looked, but it grew on me.  It's much more like an American university, most buildings are centrally located.  Austin and I were again paired up together.  I like him.  He's a really nice guy and I enjoy spending time with him.  We only had one conversation today and the guy was really apathetic to religion.  He said he believed in God but didn't feel like he needed a relationship with Christ or why he needed one.  We tried to explain to him why he needed a relationship with Christ but he didn't really care.  He was still really nice to talk with.  After the conversation, we decided to sit a while and pray and talk about how to go about talking with some other people now that we were out of the Mensa.  Ultimately, we sat talked and hung out with each other until Stephanie and Kim sat down with us outside.  There is a lot of grass and trees on Freie but its really unkempt.  It was really hot today, about 24 degrees Celsius and I was wearing pants and a long sleeve black and grey shirt.  I decided to buy a FU shirt before we prayed as a group.  I feel little awkward praying in groups.  Prayer, to me, is a time that I can talk with God personally and I just think back to what Jesus said about praying in public when I pray in groups unless its with certain people I'm really close with.  I feel like it loses some of its honesty, but its good because it forces me to be more open with others.  After our group prayer, we wanted to split up with people we hadn't worked with yet to go on a prayer walk but Austin and I are the only two guys on our team right now so we tend to do everything together.  We are spending a lot of time splitting up by gender and part of it is nice but another part seems odd.  I know as two guys going to share, it feels odd to approach a girl and be like "want to talk about Jesus?"  It just seems intimidating.  But I think/hope that will change.

Last night for dinner, I had kangaroo.  It was really good.

First day on campuses

I lead worship this morning.  It definitely didn't go as planned.  I played Walk by Faith and definitely forgot the words.  We only have a few lyric sheets since we forgot to print more off and when I get nervous I forget what I'm saying.  But tomorrow will be better hopefully.  Olivia and I are going to get together and rehearse a bit since when I play if I don't know the rhythm, I play in 6/8 instead of 4/4.

Today was the first day that I was on campuses and I spent the afternoon on Humboldt Universitaet zu Berlin.  It's one of the 3 main campuses that we'll be working on.  It's the philosophy, literature, economics school.  It's really nice and really old.  Austin and I were paired together and worked in the Mensa, which is the cafeteria.  We grabbed some lunch before going to the south Mensa and finding a place to sit.  We sat with this guy Stephan and had a really deep conversation.  Our goal for today was just to have a conversation with someone but we moved into a pretty deep conversation.  Stephan wasn't really interested in having a relationship with Christ, but we still spent time talking with him and trying to show him Christ.  He grew up in East Berlin and was in communist training when the Wall came down.  He said he was actually sad when the wall came down.  We did our best to share God's love with him during the conversation.  He wasn't against Christianity, or Islam; he just didn't feel that he needed a relationship with Christ.

After we got back to the hostel, we went over using the Knowing God Personally booklet as a way to start conversations and evangelize.  I hope tomorrow the people we meet are just as willing to have spiritual conversations as Stephan was, and that we can actually share the gospel.

Berlin!

We made it to Berlin!  The flight to JFK was ok.  The head stewardess was kind of by-the-book and short tempered, but it was still an enjoyable flight.  I sat next to Barbara, she is the lady in charge of the trip, and I got to know her a little bit better.  She's really nice and easy to talk with.  When we arrived at JFK, we had a four hour layover so we just sat around, played euchre, ate dinner/late lunch, and walked around.  It was really nice bonding time.  I taught Eric how to play euchre, and we just got to know everyone a little better.  A lot of the guys are engineering majors.  One of the girls from California is an English major, so I'm not the only "art" major here.  Another one of the girls, Kim, reminds me a lot of Kathy Rohrs.  It's kind of odd.

The flight to Berlin was actually nice.  They served us dinner, gave us drinks, had movies.  The stewardesses were a lot more lenient about letting people up out of their seats and walking around, even if the fasten seat belt sign was on.  A lot of us used the time as a bonding experience, talking about what movies and music we liked.  I did that until about midnight before I decided to sleep.  It was pretty nice.  I slept four or four and a half hours, but it was enough for me.  

When we arrived in Berlin, we hung out for a while waiting on the bus to take us to the hostel.  Once we got to the hostel, we dropped off our luggage and went to get some lunch.  Most of us went and got chicken and fries.  Some went for coffee and others went for pastries and bread.  Tomorrow, we'll actually start going to the campuses and doing evangelism.  I'm really excited.

Indianapolis

The time has come.  I have made it to Indianapolis and am leaving for Berlin in less than 12 hours.  I'm really excited.  The group really seems great.  So far we all are getting along and making friendships.  When I first arrived, I felt slightly out of place.  A lot of people know each other from school or they were on the trip last year.  Now, I feel comfortable and fine.  The leaders are really nice.  They have a lot of ideas and plans for us, so I'm excited.  The one thing I'm not totally happy with is that I won't have time for my own devotional.  I get that we are doing one as a group, but it would be nice to continue the one I've been doing for 8 months or so.  Hopefully when I get back I pick it up again.  Even though I'm sad I'll stop doing my devotional, I'm excited to start this one with a group of people.  I think it will be good for my growth.  

After meeting Olivia and Kenny, the other two I'm leading worship with, we talked about what we want to play for worship.  I'm still a little nervous about that.  I haven't really performed in front of anyone since I was 15, and even then I didn't sing.  But I know God will be the one leading through me.  He will give me strength and confidence.  I guess the one thing I'm most nervous about is that people won't get into the worship because of something I do or don't do.  But I trust that God will provide; He got me this far, why wouldn't He take me the rest of the way?

I probably won't write for a while.  Tomorrow begins a long two days of traveling, unpacking, and getting adjusted.