Back in America

I've been back for about two months, and it's pretty different.  Things have settled back into a normal routine.  I still do my devotional every morning, but now when I go to campus I go because I have a class not to share my faith.  I still find ways to share my faith, but its no longer my sole reason for going to a campus and hanging out.  

I may not be in Berlin any more, but I still want to change the world for Christ some how.  I think it mostly comes down to me living out the life God calls us to live.  I really love dcTalk and before the start of "What if I Stumble?" there is a quote about why non-believers don't believe because of Christian hypocrites.  I know they're out there, I've meet them and at times been one, but my resolve is to live a life for God; a life that cares only about doing what He asks, even if it's hard.  Maybe that will change the way people view Christians and Christianity.  But I won't place my hope in my own efforts, rather I will place it in God.  

For my Social Justice class, I read an article about hope and hopelessness.  The author seems to think that hope is placed in what we can accomplish, but that injects fear which can and does destroy hope.  But hopelessness unites people in love and kindness.  I agree that when things look the darkest is when we tend to unite ourselves in love, but that fear cannot destroy hope if it is placed in God.  If we place our hope in what we do?  We're bound to fall short and burn out before any change happens.  But if our hope is in God, everything will work out even if we don't know the outcome.  Therefore, if our hope is in God all we must do is what we can and leave the rest up to Him.  

So hope; not in what any one of us can do, but what God does.

Last Days Part 2

Today was our last day on campus.  It was ok.  Alyssa and I went out sharing together.  The first girl we talked with was really open and willing to talk until we mentioned Jesus.  She said she was forced to go to church and the priest never explained why we shouldn't do certain things.  I tried to empathize and tell her that if she were to look, the rules really made sense.  She ultimately was kind of closed to the idea of Jesus, even from a historical sense (she was a history student).  The next two people we went to talk with didn't want to talk with us; it's kind of understandable, lots of students are taking exams this week and the exam is their whole grade.  The next person we talked with tried to argue that science would eventually prove everything and we had no need for God.  Alyssa really carried that conversation.  She is going to grad school for biology and chem, so she really knows the sciences and held her own against this guy.  The only thing I contributed besides prayer was when he said that he didn't believe in God because he couldn't see Him or hear Him, I said that you couldn't see the wind or hear it but it was still there.  I wanted to take the route that just because you can't see something or hear a tangible voice doesn't mean it isn't there, but I didn't do a very good job of explaining and he wasn't that interested.  The conversation ended shortly after that.  Alyssa and I talked about things that we can learn from that convo, and one of the things we both said that we needed to keep in mind is that we can't convince anyone, but we need to try and get them to think.  Overall, I think that we did our best to have a discussion with this guy, but ultimately he didn't want to discuss it with us.

Tonight for bible study, we went to Wahalla (we have gone there for all of our bible study meetings).  We just concluded our study on Colossians.  I really got a lot out of this study.  I read it a few days before we left and I didn't get much out of it besides the big things that everyone seems to get out of it.  I really feel like this is a book that I can discuss and share incredibly well now.  I really would like to take this kind of understanding and have it for all of the books of the Bible.  I think it would really help me live a life that is much more pleasing to God, because at the end of the day that's all that matters.  I think I've grown to the point where that's the one thing I desire more than anything is the dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life.  It's kind of like that dcTalk song, "Day by Day".  Day by day, I want to see the Lord more clearly, to love Him more dearly, and to follow Him more nearly.

Tomorrow I leave for Switzerland.  I'm really excited.  We're going to be in Wengin, it's a small village up in the Alps.  It'll be about 20 degrees cooler there than here in Berlin.  I think it'll be really relaxing and pretty to look out and see mountains.  But with all the traveling, I don't know if I'll be able to update for a while.

Last Days Part 1

Today was a really good day.  Olivia and I played Let My Words Be Few.  I really love that song.  It's one of my favorite songs to sing.  I think playing with her has really helped my rhythm.  After worship, Jenna and I went out and shared together.  The lady we talked with at lunch was really nice and seemed interested to talk about spirituality but had to leave for work.  When we went back to the the Sud Mensa, we talked with a girl for five minutes but she didn't seem interested in knowing or desiring God.  That was a little sad, but each will come to God in their own time.  After that quick convo, we talked with this girl Constance.  She seemed so very interested in know God.  It was great.  We talked for about an hour and it all came so naturally.  She said she hoped to believe in heaven and that God existed but she wasn't convinced yet.  We told her that we can and that we were with Campues fuer Christus (its the German name for Crusade), and she said she thought we were because she met a guy a year ago who came up and shared the gospel with her and helped her reach the point she is at.  It was great to see that she still desired to know God and was talking with his guy.  We didn't talk for much longer since she had an exam but said she wanted our emails since we're leaving Wednesday.  It really made our day.

This evening, we went to the Olympic Stadium.  It was incredible to see the place where Jesse Owens won gold medals and where Hertha Berlin SC plays.  I sat there just in awe, realizing who am I to complain about grades or dating when a man such as Jesse Owens could stand there in persecution and perform; who am I to not rejoice daily and praise God at the top of my lunch since I do not have to worry about anything.  It was a very humbling experience.  

When we got back to the hostel, they were having a dance-party and Jenna, Alyssa, Kayla, and Austin convinced me to join them in dancing for a little bit.  It was fun.  I definitely do not enjoy dancing, but I really enjoy hanging out with them.  I'm going to be sad when I don't see those people daily when I come back to the states.  Along with Kenny and two of the male leaders, Micaiah and Doug, those are the people I'm closest to here.

Quiet Strength

This morning I went to Berlin Projekt instead of going to one of the concentration camps near here.  I didn't really want to go to one of the camp, so I decided to go to church.  I didn't really want to go there because Berlin Projekt is all in German with no translations so it's kind of hard for me to get much out of the services but everyone else was going so I went.  While I was there, I opened up my Quiet Strength devotional since I wanted to spend some time with the Lord and it was hard to get anything out of church.  I went to chapter 2 which is all about strength.  It was really refreshing because I have been feeling a little drained and weak.  There are a couple of guys on the trip that I am really trying to get to know and be close with but they keep shutting the door and its draining to try and keep pursuing them.  I told Austin this morning that I was drained from trying to pursue these two guys and that I didn't know if I could keep trying so hard without getting too drained, especially after pouring so much of myself out trying to keep things with Amy from ending like the way it did.  I don't think I'm still fully filled from all that.  But the thing that really was awesome and God's hand was about the idea of strength and where do we get our strength from and what makes us strong.  The book says that strength is "having the faith to look to God to change us and to obey Him in what He has called each of us to do ... It is revealed when your relationships get difficult and you want to just walk away."  It was great.  I know both of those sentences, but the great thing was I really felt like God was saying "keep going.  Trust in Me and this fire will burn hotter and deeper and it will spread to others.  Pursue."

I have talked about how Germany is secular and in my last post I mentioned that Berlin in particular is secular.  Being in the former East Germany, there are a lot more atheists here because of the communist regime.  But even the people who grew up in the church have an interesting view on faith and God.  A lot of pastors and priests here in Germany do not have much faith themselves.  It is an odd system here in Germany how the church works.  If a person registers as a Lutheran or a Catholic, part of the money is taxed directly to that church network so many pastors and priests go into that field because they know they can get a job and have an income.  As a result, a lot of people who to church don't really know or ever hear that Jesus is the way; all they know is that Jesus taught peace, love, etc and they think of being a Christian as a moral way to live but not a lifestyle.  It's a sad state of affairs.  It's not uncommon for people to say that they believe the bible is true and good but that Jesus isn't the son of God, even though he does claim it but they don't know it since they haven't read it or had someone tell them that.  I ask that whoever reads this post prays that their eyes will be opened to see the truth and that they be willing to learn more about Christ and desire to know Him.

Wittenburg

Today, some of us went to Wittenburg. It was really nice. Wittenburg is much more like the typical German village. Berlin is kind of like the New York of Germany, lots of diversity and a unique culture to it's self. We got to Wittenburg a little after noon and looked at some of the sites. It was kind of cool to see some of the places. The first place we saw was the house where Luther burned his excommunication papers. The town really places up Martin Luther. They have Luther Beer, Luther signs, Luther food. It's a little annoying but in a country so secular, it's nice to see them embrace some of their religious past. The town has little maps all around it with spots where Luther did something or lived. We saw his house. Originally it was an abbey for monks, which he was, before it became his family's home. After lunch, we went to the first Protestant church where Luther preached. It was a really beautiful and moving place. The entire building was made of stone so it was really nice and cool inside. The ceilings were huge arched vaults with ornate decorations on them. The pulpit was very ornate and decorative. It was not just a normal podium, but it had a spiral staircase that was connected to the wall before it branched out and became the pulpit. At the very back, Luther's 95 Theses were written in German. Where the original door that he nailed the original copy to was is a bronzed cast of his 95 Theses in German. We spent half an hour or so in the church itself praying, looking around, taking pictures before we climbed up the tower which overlooks the whole town. The climb up to the belltower was really long and hard. It was a very narrow spiral staircase that went up about four stories. Once we reached the top, we could see for miles and miles. Wittenburg is kind of out in the middle of nowhere, about 45 minutes away from Berlin. We could see the town, all the streets, and the fields surrounding Wittenburg. I could even see the wind turbines a couple of miles out from the town.

I actually read a few of Luther's Theses today. I always knew that Luther didn't want to break away from the church, just reform it but I don't think I realized how much he just wanted to change the salvation through works message. On our way there I read a little bit of his thrid treaty on freedom, and he was very adamant that it is salvation through grace alone, our works only reflect the change in spirit. Without him, the majority of our denominations would not exist. We may still have a salvation by works mindset and many people may never know that what matters is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I hope to read more of his writings, along with some from John Wessley and Oswald Chambers.

Visions, LSD, and Odd Things I've Heard

I haven't updated in a few days and I feel little bad about that.  I just haven't had a lot of time.  Tuesday after bible study, Doug, Patrick, and myself went to a tent by Victoria Park and watched the Dutch triumph over Uruguay.  Yesterday, I didn't have a great conversation but I did spend a lot of time in prayer and really loved it.  That night I watched Spain beat Germany.  A lot of people were really upset, I guess it's understandable I am in Germany.  The Netherlands are going to beat Spain.

Today, I had a pretty good quiet time.  I woke up really tired and had a sore neck.  I haven't been sleeping well the past couple of nights, but I only a few more days in the bed I'm in.  In-spite of that I spent a good hour with God, asking for Him to refresh me and keep me burning for Him.  On campus today, Alyssa and I went sharing.  The guy we sat down with at lunch didn't speak English, so we just talked between ourselves since I don't feel confident enough to share in German.  When we went back to the south part of campus, the first guy we spoke with was from South Carolina.  He grew up in the church but fell away when he saw how people, in this case priests, can use God to do bad things.  But before we could really share and let him know that we are not called to live like that, he had to leave.  The next person we talked with, was this girl Ulli.  She was really nice but had some traumatizing experiences.  She said that she lost her faith at age 10 when something horrible happened in her life and that she didn't think God was with her through it.  We tried to say that God was with you through that, and His heart broke when it happened and that He can heal you.  As we started to explain that, she moved into how God was neither good nor bad and that Allah, Buddha, Krisna, YHWH, etc are all the same god.  When we asked her about what she thought would happen in death, she said that she had vision where she was approaching death and her grandma said it wasn't time for her to die but when it was she would walk with her through a purgatory type of place seeing everyone she's ever met before deciding if she wants to move on to something else or relive life.  It was very odd.  She somehow moved into how Jesus is viewed the same in both Islam and Christianity.  We tried to discuss that with her but she had to leave for work.

The last guy we spoke with was very odd.  I'm not really sure what he believed other than helping the poor and communism.  He was very smart, just very odd.  He kept talking about LSD, I kind of think he was on some sort of drug.  He believed that people have auras and energy but that Christians have weaker auras than the rest of society because we spend so much time serving others and that we steal other people's energy.  It was all really weird.  I spent some of the time in prayer and then the rest trying to figure out a way we could get out of the conversation since it was moving no where and we were supposed to be back at the hostel at 4 but somehow Alyssa found a way to share the gospel with him.  She was like "ok, you know how you keep talking about how there is so much suffering in the world?  It's because of sin and then Jesus came and He is the way for us to get out of it.  He came so we can find redemption and hope.  He taught that we need a relationship with Him to heal ourselves and then we're supposed to help everyone else."  We ended up giving him one of our pages that have the churches we got on it with our emails.  I hope he emails us and goes to one of the churches and sees how much people care about this world because God cares about this world.

For dinner, Austin, Alyssa, Jenna, Kathy, Patrick Martin, Christina, and myself went to this Spanish place for dinner.  It was so good.  I forgot how much I like Paella.

Last Full Week

This is my last full week in Germany.  I'm excited and kind of sad.  I miss my friends and family and AC.  I'm not homesick but I miss seeing everyone but I felt the same way when I moved to Pittsburgh.  Today was pretty good.  Patrick and I went out together.  He was kind of drained and tired, but we kept going.  We talked with this couple of five or ten minutes but they didn't really want to talk much and weren't interested in learning about God.  Maybe it just wasn't their time.  After that we went back and prayed for 10 minutes or so before deciding to do solarium.  It went really well.  I haven't done solarium here and Patrick has never used it, so I thought it might be a nice change of pace for us.  The first girl we talked with was a pantheist and we didn't really get to share with her but she was our first so it was a good learning experience.  She is also the first pantheist I've met here.  Then these two people came up and asked what we were doing, so we told them and they said they wanted to be a part of this.  The girl was an agnostic from Hungary and the guy was some what spiritual from Germany but he left before we could ask him about his beliefs.  After the girl finished solarium, she asked us why we were doing this and we told her why and that we believed in God and shared a little bit of our faith but she didn't seem like she wanted to learn more.  

We decided to pack up and try our normal method for the last 45 minutes.  We talked with this guy who grew up in the church and stopped believing in God after he was confirmed but still thought there was a higher power.  He thought that God wouldn't be able to have a relationship with all of the people.  We explained to him that since God was all-powerful that He could do that.  Then he thought that maybe God would favor the person who sinned less or had less big sins, like lying over murder.  We explained to him that God didn't differentiate between sin and that He would always love us like a father loves his children.  The more we talked with him, the more he started to think and start to agree with what we were saying about God.  Unfortunately, we had to leave as things were starting to get really good but we got his email.  Hopefully we'll meet up with him before we leave and continue sharing.  It was just an awesome way for God to show up and refresh Patrick who was tired and drained; feeling like he wasn't making a difference for God.

Kenny and Patrick met a very interesting group of people today.  There is a group of "Christians" who are going around talking to people and teaching that the way to salvation is through works and not grace.  I understand that many people do see that passage in James as saying that we need to do works or else our faith is dead, but they teach that God merits us salvation based on how well we perform.  They also believe that there is God the Father and a God Mother.  They cite Revelation 21, where the Bride comes down, but they refused to tell Kenny more about this God Mother unless he agreed that he would follow their teachings and spread what they believed.  He said it was a very strange experience.

Friday

So Friday was a little different.  I woke up and had my quiet time at the Tiergarten with Doug.  It was nice.  I sat in the little garden by the coffeehouse I like.  At Humboldt, Micaiah and I went sharing before he discipled me.  We shared with this one guy and it was a pretty good conversation.  Micaiah is a really good evangelist, but it is his job.  The guy enjoyed talking with us and listening to our viewpoints.  This one guy next to us didn't like that we weren't speaking German so he asked if we thought we were condescending by sharing our faith and by not speaking in the guy's native language.  He just wanted to make us embarrassed and stop sharing.  Micaiah told him that was a valid point and that he would love to discuss that with him after our conversation with the guy in front of us ended but the guy just left.  After that conversation, we had discipleship which was pretty good.  We talked more about why I struggle with some of the things I struggle with and just ways to work on changing that.

That evening was mens time.  So we decided to play soccer.  I was so happy about that.  We went to this park where a local club has a few fields and played there.  If a club has fields they're usually turf unless they're pro.  It was kind of interesting but cool.  It was more like carpet that turf that I'm used to.  As we started to play a few German players at the club wanted to play with us, so we split them up among our two teams.  I started off playing behind the striker, but eventually I became the striker.  I forgot how much I love to play up front or from the middle.  We played for a couple of hours, and it took until right before we decided that we were going to stop playing soon that someone scored.  I hope we play again sometime before we leave.

Pergamum

Today was kind of hard.  Aaron and I went out sharing together.  Within 3 hours, we initiated 10 conversations, 7 of those conversations lasted 30 seconds, shared the gospel twice, and were blown off three times.  It was kind of a rough day for us.  The first time we shared the gospel was pretty good.  We shared it with two guys, and one of them seemed interested in possibly learning more about God and Christ but didn't speak up much because his friend is against the church.  All in all, it was a good conversation.  We gave them a flyer for this thing some of the stinters are speaking at on who Jesus actually is.

This evening, I went to see the Pergamum Museum.  It was incredible.  The archeologists excavated the steps, the alter and a couple of other things.  It was really incredible.  To sit where ancient worshipers sat and to see what they saw was great.  We also saw some other artifacts from Syria, Babylon, Arabia, and Islamic Spain.  Two of the coolest things was a room from Damascus, that had verses from Exodus and Deuteronomy written in Arabic on it.  The other really cool thing was another room brought back to Berlin that had Psalms in Arabic and pictures of Mary and the child Christ, the last supper, and Isaac's sacrifice.  That room also was from Damascus.  It was just really cool to see some of Biblical history in real life.  One of the guys Patrick Martin talked with today was a history major and said 90% of the New Testament was 100% reliable which was kind of cool.

Night of Reflection

Today was pretty good.  This morning, we went to a Jewish cemetery for our morning devotional.  This morning we talked about faith in God and walking by faith.  We read from Hebrews 11, looking at the sections on Moses and Abraham.  After we were done, we had some time to pray and just spend with God.  As I sat in prayer, I came to the realization that walking by faith and finding my identity in Christ are the same.  To have one, is to have the other; and to not have one, is to have neither.  If I walk by faith, I do so knowing that my identity is in Christ, my savior; to know that my identity is in Christ, is to walk by faith knowing God will provide and be there with me.  To me, this was a pretty huge realization and something that I hope will help me through the rest of my life to know that I am a son of the most high God.

Sharing today was ok.  Patrick and I talked with one guy at lunch, but it didn't move to a spiritual direction, it stayed very superficial and surface.  But that's ok.  I think after so many rejections yesterday and feeling like I needed to impress Uli, the head guy in Germany's Crusade, that just taking this step to talk and be friendly was good.  After lunch, we asked two guys about the survey and both said no.  The third guy we asked, was willing to talk.  We had a lot of small talk but we also were able to ask him about his spirituality.  He said he didn't know much about Christianity, I asked if he wanted to learn more about it but he said no.  Hopefully he will someday reflect on God and desire to know more about Him.  I think without this hope, that one day the students we meet will consider Christ, I would burn out and maybe give up.  But God is hope and my hope is in Him and His power.  

Tonight was the night of reflection, where we just take a night to spend with God or as Jarrin would put it, date night with God.  I went to the garden at the Tiergarten and just spent some time in prayer; talking to God about how I don't always find my identity in Him and that I hope to find it in Him solely.  I wanted something to read and the first thing that popped into my head was Song of Solomon.  When I turned to that book, the first passage that came to me was 2:16a "My beloved is mine, and I am his".  It just reminded me that I am God's, no one can take me away; that my identity is in Him.  God's spirit just works in wonderful ways.  He knows what to say to break down your walls and remind of your brokenness, and in the same moment comfort you and lift you up in His strength.

3 Weeks In

Last night during the Argentina-Mexico game, some of us played a game called Fishbowl or Can of Worms (people call it both).  It was a lot of fun.  It started off just random questions but then Austin asked if there were anything scary or intimidating about the opposite sex which lead the girls to grill him and I about how guys view this or that.  It was a lot of fun.  For a while they wanted to know about how/why guys communicate and I was able to explain most of that stuff from what I learned in school, which was kind of cool.  I felt like those of us playing really bonded and connected during that.

This morning,  we talked about what we find our identity in other than God.  It really helped me to see that I find my identity in relationships and my grades.  I never would have thought until now that I find part of my identity in relationships and grades.  We just did some serious self analyzing.  I just realized how much I identified myself with my relationship with Amy and now that its over, I had a hard time identifying myself.  I realize now that I found too much of my identity in our relationship.  I think its ok to have some identity in a long lasting relationship but I think I put too much into that.  When I was introducing myself to people at school I didn't know, I'd say "I'm Chris, Amy's boyfriend".  Hopefully now that I know this, I will let God work in me about how and where I find my identity.

Today at Humboldt, it wasn't quite as good as other days.  Aaron and I went sharing and only had two conversations and shared the gospel once.  I know its not a numbers game, and I'm ok with what we did today for God.  The first guy didn't want to talk about religion but still wanted to talk with us.  He was really nice.  He grew up in a unique household, his father was a communist and his mother was Lutheran.  I really wanted to know how that affected this view on religion and God, but he didn't want to talk about it, which is cool.  The second guy agreed with the bible intellectually but couldn't believe in God.  I think for both of these guys, God had in mind just for us to talk and maybe get them to think about Him in a new way or for the first time in years.  After the second conversation, Aaron and I just talked and got to know each other on a much better level.  Him and I just really haven't connected much on a personal level and it was great to do that today.

This evening, we did a personality test.  It revealed that I am an extrovert, that I I use my intuitive sense over my other senses, that I got my feelings over thinking things through.  It was really interesting.  I think I would agree with those assessments of myself.  I know for a fact that I usually go my gut feeling over thinking things out, but I didn't think I relied on my intuitive sense instead of of sensory organs to describe something.

The Weekend

Yesterday was a bit of a free day, where we could do whatever we wanted until 12:30 before we were going to Lake Schloctonse.  Kenny and I decided to go to Balzac coffee again for our quiet times.  It was good.  I really like enjoy the tea there and that it usually is quiet there.  We were there until about 11 before heading back to the hostel.  On our way to Schloctonse, we stopped off at Potsdam which is where the palaces are.  They are so beautiful.  I really like the beauty of the palaces.  Someone said they thought they were more beautiful than the Palace at Versailles.  One of the couple who are leading the trip have a 5 year old little girl who wanted me to carry her all over the palace.  I carried her most of the time until it was too hot.  After the palaces, we went back into Potsdam and looked around at the little shops.  I bought the one thing I really wanted to buy while I'm here, a German copy of the book Siddhartha.  When we reached the lake, I really didn't wanted to swim since I was afraid I wouldn't get back in time to watch the USA-Ghana game, so Alyssa and I left before everyone else since she wasn't feeling well.

This morning, I went to Berlin International Church.  It was nice, all in English and a pretty good sermon.  This morning's sermon was about forgiveness and the story of Joseph.  The pastor pointed out that Joseph wanted great blessings poured out on his brothers, even after they sold him into slavery.  The only thing I didn't care that much for was the worship music.  It was good, but I didn't know it so it was harder to prepare my heart for worship that way.

After church, we went to a biergarten to watch the Germany-England game.  I didn't stay long, I didn't sleep well and I had a hard time seeing the screen from where we were sitting.  At least Germany won.  Too bad the USA didn't.

Another day on Humboldt

I really am enjoying how structured my mornings are here.  Even though I slept in a little bit since we got back so late from the Biergarten after the Germany game, I still was able to spend a little over an hour by myself in prayer and reading.  It has really been great.

Yesterday was kind of similar to Wednesday in terms of sharing.  Patrick and I went sharing together and we had 5 conversations and we only shared the gospel once.  The one guy we shared with just rejected us and the gospel.  But it just wasn't his time.  Since this is kind of a new project, not many people have been able to share that much compared to how many students there are here.  But I know God will do wonderful and incredible things here, whether I see the results or not.

Today, Micaiah, one of the leaders, went with me to Humboldt and we only had one conversation but didn't share.  The guy didn't seem that interested in talking about God.  But afterwards, we just talked and we both shared how we came to know Christ and what all had happened in our lives up until this point.  It was kind of hard talking about what happened between Amy and I in detail, but it was nice to share that with someone.  I haven't really talk many people about what happened other than we broke up.  After that, we went to a grill out that the team here puts on every Friday.  It was fun.  I didn't eat much since we were planning on going out for dinner after that.  I shared my story with the whole group at the park, they want each one of us to share how we came to Christ and what has happened in our life up until now.

After the park, Kenny, Austin, Aaron, Alyssa, Jenna, and I went to this Egyptian restaurant not that far from the park we were at.  It was so good.  I had a falafel with lamb.  I really enjoyed it a lot.  It was really good bonding time between us.  All of us except Jenna are seniors or 5th year students, so its kind of nice as "upperclassmen" to hang out together and just get to know each other a little better.

Nord Mensa

Today we went to the North Mensa.  It's farther away from main campus, but a nicer cafeteria and better food.  Aaron, Patrick, and I went out sharing together again and we were only able to share the gospel once.  But thats ok, numbers aren't everything.  The time we shared it, the guy intellectually agreed with everything we said but when we said if he wanted salvation he would need to accept Christ, he said he didn't believe  in God and all everything became kind of moot.  Patrick did an awesome job sharing with this guy.  Ever argument he had against Christianity or God, God provided Patrick with an answer.  God provided all of us with answers, but really with Patrick.  It was really incredible.  At first I was slightly disappointed with our conversation with him, but looking back I don't feel so bad about it.  I think that God maybe just wanted us to break the soil of his heart a little bit and somewhere down the line he might be willing and ready to accept Christ.

After our time at the North Mensa, we went back to south campus and met up with the girls and talked about The Reason for God.  It's a really good book so far.  It has really helped me to know there are some strong arguments for when people act like Christopher Hitchens and think they know all of the answers.  Ultimately it comes down to if people are willing to let God work in them, or else these points become moot (much like with the guy we spoke with today).  We all really seem to like it.

This evening we went to the biergarten by the Berlin Zoo to watch the Germany-Ghana game.  It was pretty great.  On the way home, people were rioting and partying.  Some people were shaking an entire subway car before breaking out a window and lighting off fireworks in the station.  It was pretty cool, yet really scary to see the Germans go from being so calm and laid back to this intensity.  I don't think people in America are even this intense during OSU-UM week.

Humboldt

This morning, I had a much better quiet time.  Alyssa, Kenny, Jenna, Christina, and myself went to the Tiergarten around 7:30 this morning to do our quiet times.  It was so much better than trying to do it at the hostel.  I think I might make this a regular thing, getting away and going somewhere else and spending time with God.  I read my daily devotional, Colossians, then a little bit of The Reason for God.  It was really good for me.  We're going to start doing Colossians as a group bible study this summer, and they asked that we read it and write down a summary of each chapter.  It was good.  I read the book a week ago, but each time I read it, I get more and more out of it.

Today we were given our campuses for the rest of the trip.  Aaron, Patrick Martin, Alyssa, Jenna, Stephanie and I were placed on Humboldt.  All of us except Jenna were really happy about this.  I really like the campus and the feel since it is the more philosophy, literature university.  Aaron, Patrick and myself went out sharing.  The first two people we tried to talk with was ok.  We just talked about food and I guess trivial stuff.  But the second and fourth conversations were really great.  The first guy, Fabian, was open to taking our survey about spirituality and we eventually got to share the gospel with him.  It was really great.  It wasn't just one of us talking the whole time but each one of us said something useful throughout the whole conversation.  By the end, he seemed really interested in wanting to know more about God and continuing the conversation.

The last guy, Sebastian, was kind of the same way.  He started off saying he was atheist, slightly adamant about that.  But as we started to share what God has done for us and share the gospel, he started to see that maybe God wasn't all bad, that maybe there is some hope in Christ.  By the time we left, we said he really wanted to know how to believe.

I think the best thing of the day was something that none of us initiated.  Stephanie and Alyssa were sharing with this girl when a guy interrupted them and said "hey, I really want to learn more about this Christ guy but I have to go to class.  Can I get your email so I can talk with someone about this?"  As Alyssa got his info, he told her he was Iranian and Islamic but that he wasn't happy with his faith and wanted to learn more about Christianity.  God really does work in great and wondrous ways.

God really blessed this day.

TU

Yesterday we went to church.  It was nice.  We broke up into small groups that we'll keep for when we go to the churches.  The group I was in, we went to Lukas Geiminde.  It was really nice.  We started off singing "Come, Now is the Time to Worship" in German.  It was really cool to sing songs that I knew in German.  The sermon was about being fruitful in the spirit of God.  They had a translator who we could listen to with headsets.  After church, we went to the American Cafe for lunch.  It was ok.  People must think that as Americans we're either New Yorkers or Californians.  After that we had a free day, so some of us went to the Tiergarten and played ultimate frisbee.  It was really a lot of fun and great bonding time.  We played for about an hour before we came back and went to dinner by our class.  The majority of the students on the trip are seniors so we broke up into 2 senior groups for dinner.  It was nice to be in a smaller group with people closer to my age.

This morning, I felt drained and tired.  I didn't sleep that well and didn't really get a chance to have a great quiet time this morning with people being noisy and me talking with Eric and Kenny, so I was running a little on empty.  On our way to TU, I spent some time in prayer and started to feel refreshed and better.  It's times like these that I remember how much God's spirit is the living water.  It also reminds of me how important it is to start off my day with Him, much like the intro to the dc Talk song "Day by Day".

Today after our quiet times and devotional, we went to our final campus which for me was Technice Universitaet.  TU is the big science university in Berlin, it has a lot of engineering students and math students.  Austin and I talked with a Muslim guy about faith for about 10 minutes.  He wasn't very confident in his english so he kept most of his answers short and simple.  He seemed content with staying Muslim and not learning more about Christ.  That was the closest we've come to sharing the gospel so far, but it's only been a week and I know God will do something with whatever it is that we do for Him.  I'm doing my best not to get discouraged.  I need to remember that my hope is in Him and His power not in how effective and beautiful my words are, because they're gifts He gave me and I can only show them His love for me; God's the one who ultimately does all the work, He just uses those of us willing to serve.

I started reading Tim Keller's The Reason For God.  It's really good.  It kind of reminds me of Case for a Creator except with more philosophical/theological arguments.  It's one of the books that Crusade has given us to read this summer.  I'm sure I won't finish it while I'm here since I'm also reading Fireseeds and The Road, but hopefully I continue reading when I come home.

The ref who called the USA-Slovenia game is no longer reffing any World Cup games.  That's probably smart.  He did a pretty poor job.

Free days

Yesterday we decided to not go to the third campus.  As a team we decided it was important for us to watch the Germany - Serbia game.  It was an ok game.  We went to a Biergarten and had a lot of fun.  We got there late so we didn't get good seats.  After the game a lot of people left and went exploring, while six of us stayed and watched the USA - Slovenia game.  It was great bonding time.  Michael Bradley was definitely the hero of the night.  I will say that I think the USA got robbed on having that goal called back.  But that's the last I'll say of that.

Today was another free day.  This morning, Kenny, Alyssa, Jenna, Christina and myself went to a Starbuck's like place for our quiet time and coffee.  It was really fun.  The place we went was kind of out of the way, but it was really enjoyable.  I did my devotionals and then read a little bit from "Fireseeds".  Its all about revival and I think it's an appropriate book for what we're doing.  I wasn't feeling drained when I read it this morning, but after reading a chapter from it I felt more energized about sharing my faith with German students..  After that, we went on a four hour walking tour of Berlin.  It was really awesome to see some of the sites and just hang out with the team.  We saw the Brandenburg Gate, the Bundestag, a couple of really old cathedrals.  One of the cathedrals was for the French Huguenots, one for the German Lutherans, and one for the German Catholic church.  It was really just so beautiful.  Prussian architecture is just wow.  For dinner, we ate a biergarten.  I had a pork knuckle and some non-alcoholic green beer.  The pork knuckle was really incredible.  I'm not sure how to describe it, but it was really great.  Its definitely a food Americans would like.

Tomorrow, we're going to three separate churches in the morning.

Freie

Today worship went better.  Olivia and I played together and I think it was so much better having her sing and play rhythm while I played whole notes and lead lines.  I still kind of rush things since I prefer 6/8 over 4/4.  We played The Stand and Inside Out.

We went to Freie Universitaet today.  Its much more modern looking with buildings made out of steel and glass instead of brick.  At first I didn't really like how it looked, but it grew on me.  It's much more like an American university, most buildings are centrally located.  Austin and I were again paired up together.  I like him.  He's a really nice guy and I enjoy spending time with him.  We only had one conversation today and the guy was really apathetic to religion.  He said he believed in God but didn't feel like he needed a relationship with Christ or why he needed one.  We tried to explain to him why he needed a relationship with Christ but he didn't really care.  He was still really nice to talk with.  After the conversation, we decided to sit a while and pray and talk about how to go about talking with some other people now that we were out of the Mensa.  Ultimately, we sat talked and hung out with each other until Stephanie and Kim sat down with us outside.  There is a lot of grass and trees on Freie but its really unkempt.  It was really hot today, about 24 degrees Celsius and I was wearing pants and a long sleeve black and grey shirt.  I decided to buy a FU shirt before we prayed as a group.  I feel little awkward praying in groups.  Prayer, to me, is a time that I can talk with God personally and I just think back to what Jesus said about praying in public when I pray in groups unless its with certain people I'm really close with.  I feel like it loses some of its honesty, but its good because it forces me to be more open with others.  After our group prayer, we wanted to split up with people we hadn't worked with yet to go on a prayer walk but Austin and I are the only two guys on our team right now so we tend to do everything together.  We are spending a lot of time splitting up by gender and part of it is nice but another part seems odd.  I know as two guys going to share, it feels odd to approach a girl and be like "want to talk about Jesus?"  It just seems intimidating.  But I think/hope that will change.

Last night for dinner, I had kangaroo.  It was really good.

First day on campuses

I lead worship this morning.  It definitely didn't go as planned.  I played Walk by Faith and definitely forgot the words.  We only have a few lyric sheets since we forgot to print more off and when I get nervous I forget what I'm saying.  But tomorrow will be better hopefully.  Olivia and I are going to get together and rehearse a bit since when I play if I don't know the rhythm, I play in 6/8 instead of 4/4.

Today was the first day that I was on campuses and I spent the afternoon on Humboldt Universitaet zu Berlin.  It's one of the 3 main campuses that we'll be working on.  It's the philosophy, literature, economics school.  It's really nice and really old.  Austin and I were paired together and worked in the Mensa, which is the cafeteria.  We grabbed some lunch before going to the south Mensa and finding a place to sit.  We sat with this guy Stephan and had a really deep conversation.  Our goal for today was just to have a conversation with someone but we moved into a pretty deep conversation.  Stephan wasn't really interested in having a relationship with Christ, but we still spent time talking with him and trying to show him Christ.  He grew up in East Berlin and was in communist training when the Wall came down.  He said he was actually sad when the wall came down.  We did our best to share God's love with him during the conversation.  He wasn't against Christianity, or Islam; he just didn't feel that he needed a relationship with Christ.

After we got back to the hostel, we went over using the Knowing God Personally booklet as a way to start conversations and evangelize.  I hope tomorrow the people we meet are just as willing to have spiritual conversations as Stephan was, and that we can actually share the gospel.

Berlin!

We made it to Berlin!  The flight to JFK was ok.  The head stewardess was kind of by-the-book and short tempered, but it was still an enjoyable flight.  I sat next to Barbara, she is the lady in charge of the trip, and I got to know her a little bit better.  She's really nice and easy to talk with.  When we arrived at JFK, we had a four hour layover so we just sat around, played euchre, ate dinner/late lunch, and walked around.  It was really nice bonding time.  I taught Eric how to play euchre, and we just got to know everyone a little better.  A lot of the guys are engineering majors.  One of the girls from California is an English major, so I'm not the only "art" major here.  Another one of the girls, Kim, reminds me a lot of Kathy Rohrs.  It's kind of odd.

The flight to Berlin was actually nice.  They served us dinner, gave us drinks, had movies.  The stewardesses were a lot more lenient about letting people up out of their seats and walking around, even if the fasten seat belt sign was on.  A lot of us used the time as a bonding experience, talking about what movies and music we liked.  I did that until about midnight before I decided to sleep.  It was pretty nice.  I slept four or four and a half hours, but it was enough for me.  

When we arrived in Berlin, we hung out for a while waiting on the bus to take us to the hostel.  Once we got to the hostel, we dropped off our luggage and went to get some lunch.  Most of us went and got chicken and fries.  Some went for coffee and others went for pastries and bread.  Tomorrow, we'll actually start going to the campuses and doing evangelism.  I'm really excited.

Indianapolis

The time has come.  I have made it to Indianapolis and am leaving for Berlin in less than 12 hours.  I'm really excited.  The group really seems great.  So far we all are getting along and making friendships.  When I first arrived, I felt slightly out of place.  A lot of people know each other from school or they were on the trip last year.  Now, I feel comfortable and fine.  The leaders are really nice.  They have a lot of ideas and plans for us, so I'm excited.  The one thing I'm not totally happy with is that I won't have time for my own devotional.  I get that we are doing one as a group, but it would be nice to continue the one I've been doing for 8 months or so.  Hopefully when I get back I pick it up again.  Even though I'm sad I'll stop doing my devotional, I'm excited to start this one with a group of people.  I think it will be good for my growth.  

After meeting Olivia and Kenny, the other two I'm leading worship with, we talked about what we want to play for worship.  I'm still a little nervous about that.  I haven't really performed in front of anyone since I was 15, and even then I didn't sing.  But I know God will be the one leading through me.  He will give me strength and confidence.  I guess the one thing I'm most nervous about is that people won't get into the worship because of something I do or don't do.  But I trust that God will provide; He got me this far, why wouldn't He take me the rest of the way?

I probably won't write for a while.  Tomorrow begins a long two days of traveling, unpacking, and getting adjusted.

Preparing for Berlin: 14 days

I'm ready to go and get started in Berlin. I have 14 days before I fly out, and I can't wait. God has really provided for me on this trip and I hope all I do while I'm there honors Him. Thats all I really want to do, is honor Him. I know at times I fall short, I am human after all, but I really want to live life for Him. I want to live out Romans 12:1.

A week or so ago, Micaiah, one of the leaders of the trip, asked if anyone would be interested in leading worship and I replied saying I would play guitar and do what was needed. I've never lead worship before, so I'm a little nervous. Two other people replied and said that they would do it as well, so between the three of us we get to lead worship and choose songs to praise God with.

100%

I have raised all $5520. And it feels great. I have received so much great support, in monetary donations and prayer. God has truly blessed me with such a wonderful group of people who want to help and support me serve Him. I never imagined that I would raise this much so quickly, but God provides. It's like the story in the the movie "Facing the Giants", two farmers are in need of rain. But only one prepares his field for rain.

I prayed, asked others to pray, did what I could and God provided.

Now, I just need to start preparing myself for Berlin. And I'm not exactly sure how to do that. I prayer that God prepares my heart for the struggles and challenges that I will face in Berlin, that I find my strength in Him and do not dig my own cisterns, and that the people in Berlin are prepared for us. I still have a whole month to continue praying this and continue spending time with God and studying His word, so I know He will prepare for this task.

88%

Support raising has been going well. Today I reached 88%. I'm having a hard time believing it. A few weeks ago I was at 50% and now today, I've almost reached my goal. God has really provided. I am just amazed at how He gives and provides for us. I really feel like the farmer who prayed for rain and prepared his crops. And now that it's raining, it's pouring.

I am just amazed at how many people support me going on this trip and sharing God's word. I never imagined I would have this type of support, but God works in wonderful and powerful ways to fulfill his plan.

Continued Support

So as of today, I am 49% of the way there. I am constantly amazed at how God continues to support me. I have really learned what trust in God is through all of this. I am really excited that everything is so close, that I am so close to going to Berlin and serving God. I'm excited and nervous all at the same time.

I have been going to a tutor just to brush up on my German. I went to tell my tutor that I was excited for Berlin, but apparently my dictionary doesn't specify the different meanings of the work excited. I actually told her I was horny for Berlin. Simple mistake, she knew what I meant and corrected it but I felt embarrassed. Even though I make mistakes like that, I feel my German is getting better and I will be able to communicate well enough if a German student doesn't understand what I'm saying in English.

Thank you all for your support.

Raising Support

So far I've received $715 in support. This has been incredible. I have really learned to trust in God with all of this. He has really provided and helped me trust in Him. I have a few more letters to address and send out, but I'm confident that God will provide as He has.

This has been quite possibly the most humbling experience of my life. Nothing else compares to asking friends and family to give you money so you can do God's work. I'm sure some think I'm crazy, but I know others really truly support this decision. You can't be to big on yourself when you ask others for help.

Support

Thank you everyone who has sent in support. I'm so very thankful of your support of me going to do this work.